


The Valkyries

by SilverMyfanwy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cute Kids, Fluff, Football | Soccer, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: How Thor ended up the coach of a girls' soccer team.
Relationships: honestly it's just lots of everyone being friends with each other
Comments: 15
Kudos: 24





	The Valkyries

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3b/2f/29/3b2f2999a2c16351148e34bc9fcfdb18.jpg)

Thor was walking back to the house the Avengers had taken up residence in from an expedition to the shops when he saw the poster.

He made for an unusual sight; 6 foot 3 with a long blond ponytail, holding a Viking compass in one hand and a bag of peas and chocolate in the other. His socks were bright pink, the same colour as his nails.

Humans came up with some truly fascinating things, Thor had discovered.

“Wanted: Soccer Coach for U11s girls’ team.” Thor read. “Interviews Wednesday, 11 am at soccer pitch. Hmm.”

He took the poster of the lamppost and carried on walking.

-

At 6 am on Wednesday morning, Thor began to get ready for his mission to find the soccer pitch.

He drank a litre of orange juice, ate a packet of ham and packed 7 apples, a cold roast chicken and three trays of flapjacks into a rucksack. To the rucksack he added a first aid kit, suncream, a water bottle, a spare sword, War and Peace, an atlas and a pair of boxing gloves.

He had decided to pack for all eventualities.

Thor put on a pair of hiking boots, put on the rucksack, hooked an umbrella over his arm and set off holding his map of the tow. He’d left a note on the fridge explaining where he’d gone and that if he wasn’t back by midnight he’d probably been kidnapped by aliens.

It took him fifteen minutes to leave the street, as there were several cats he had to stop and talk to the way, but then he was off.

He stopped to eat the chicken and 5 of the apples on a park bench, giving a squirrel one of the apples and letting the pigeons have a tray of flapjacks. Then he continued his trek, sharing his map with some German tourists along the way, and reached the soccer pitch an hour early.

Thor didn’t have a watch, so he had to backtrack to the nearest church tower to find out what the time was, then went back to the pitch to read his book and wait for some other people to show p.

An hour later, two young women and three men, two younger and one middle aged, showed up at the pitch.

“Hello?” the middle aged man called out to Thor rather dubiously. “Are you here for the try-outs? For the soccer coach role?”

“Me?” Thor stood up, putting his book away. “Yes, yes I am!”

The man looked slightly taken aback but gestured for Thor to follow him anyway. One of the young men and one of the young women also followed him, while the other two went and set something up on the pitch.

“Tank you for coming along today. My name is Mark, I’m the current coach. There are two teams and each have one practice a week and a match every other Saturday. The pay is six k a year-”

“$6k a year?” the woman asked incredulously. “I don’t want the job anymore.”

“Me neither.” the man said and they both walked away.

The man turned to Thor, looking slightly bewildered. “I guess I have to give you the job then.”

Thor beamed and shook the man’s hand. “Brilliant! I won’t let you down!”

-

On the way home after sorting out the details of his employment, Thor made a diversion to the library to borrow a copy of the soccer rule book.

He stayed up until 3 am to finish reading it.

-

“Coach, why have you just blown the whistle 7 times?” a small girl asked.

“Is that what it is?” Thor marveled down at the whistle in his and. “How interesting.”  
he tossed the whistle over his shoulder, not noticing the looks of astonishment on the faces of his new football team.

“So, the aim of the game- is this a game or a war or a sport?” Tor asked one of the girls. “Oh, and what’s your name?”

The girl put her hands on her hips. “Coach, I think we should probably _all_ tell you our names.”

“Oh! That’s a very good idea. I’ll start; my name is Thor Odinson. What’s your name?”

“Pria.”

“Hannah.”

“Rosie.”

“Rosa.”

“Zamina.”

“Neveah.”

“Amitola.”

“Bee.”

“Zara.”

“Julia.”

Thor frowned. “Shouldn’t there be 11 of you?”

Pria nodded. “We don’t have enough players.”

Thor frowned again. “That’s not very good. We’ll have to try and find some more players. What do you normally do in your team practices?”

“The first thing we do is run around.” Zara said.

“And then what do you do?”

“Drills.”

Thor looked at them blankly. “Drills?”

“In my sister’s team they call it skills.” Rosa offered.

“Is that what you call them, Mr Thor?”

“I do not know what you speak of.” Thor said. “I will investigate. What do you do after that?”

“Then we play a match. Two teams of five.”

Thor contemplated this for a moment. “Okay. Let’s run for a bit and then we’ll have another think.”

He started running diagonally across the field and the team followed after him. As he ran, he came up with a plan.

“For the rest of today’s session, we shall be doing cartwheels, for I am sure they are very important int his sport, and if not we shall make it so, and then next week we will go on a trip.”

-

Thor only had to use a little bit of magic to persuade the driving instructor to give him his licence to drive the minibus.

-

“Where are we going on our trip/” Hannah asked as the players piled into the minibus and Thor adjusted his seatbelt.

“We’re going to visit another football team.” Thor announced. “Ten we can find out how training sessions are supposed to go. What music shall we have? Rosie, there are CDS in that thing there.”

Rosie pulled the CDs out of the glove box and examined them. “There’s one that says Taylor Swift and there’s one that says ACDC.”

“A man of iron gave me that CD. He says it’s very good. Shall we try listening to it?”

There was as silent discussion between the girls.

“We’ll try it.” Amitola said warily.

They tried it. After twenty seconds, the girls’ faces were beginning to show their distaste and after 25 seconds they were clamouring for it to be turned off.

Rosie did as commanded and put Taylor Swift on instead.

(The girls were very impressed when they discovered that Thor knew all the words to You Belong With Me.)

-

They arrived at the other team’s training ground and Thor had to explain to the girls that other teams did not always like to be observed, so they were going to have to pretend to be lost and trying to use a map to work out where they were going.

Whilst Thor and Bee looked at old maps of the nine worlds- the only ones Thor had had on hand- the others looked at the raining by hiding behind bins and reported on what they saw. It didn’t take long for the coach of the other team to realise what they were doing and chase them off, but the team decided that all around they had the information they needed and were ready for their next trip.

-

“We’re going to see a soccer match!” Thor announced. “America are playing Canada!”

He had not been ready for the screaming that then ensued.

-

They went to the match.

Thor took notes.

He decided that he had not realised what he was letting himself in for because it was going to be far more fun than he had expected.

-

They held their first proper practice the next day.

“First of all, we’re going to have a jog around the pitch.” Thor said.

They jogged.

“What do we do now?”

“Keepie-uppies!”

-

The second practice was a very tense affair for Thor.

It was their final practice before their first match and he was rather concerned abut teamwork.

“I think we need to have a team bonding exercise.” He announced to the team. “We’re going to sit in a circle, stick our legs out to the side and then roll a ball back and forth. When you get the ball, you say a fact about yourself and then roll the ball to the next person.”

He;d been studying his teamwork books very closely.

“I think I should start.” Rosa said to Thor. “I want to know a fact about you.”

“Okay.” Thor put his hands together. “I have one brother and one sister. I argue with my brother quite a lot but really he’s lovely and he will probably come and meet you all one day.”

“What is his name?” Zara asked.

“His names is Loki.” Thor rolled the ball to Julia. “Julia! You’re go.”

“I’ve never been to school.” Julia said.

“I love horses.” said Pria.

“I’m a Sikh.” said Bee.

“I’m a Muslim.” said Hannah.

“I’m a twin.” said Amitola.

“I'm allergic to fish.” said Zara.

“My best friend is Rosa.” said Rosie.

“And my best friend is Rosie!” said Rosa.

“Wonderful.” Thor declared. “Let’s begin.”

-

The first match arrived.

The team was silent.

“Thor?” Bee asked quietly. “What happens if we loose? Or if the other team’s better than us?”

Thor thought for a moment. “You’ll be fine.”

They were fine. One-nil up at half time, they had plated together brilliantly and worked well as a team. In the end, they drew two all.

Thor was ecstatic.

-

During training, Thor found that his hair kept getting in his face.

“Mr Thor, do you want a hairband so you can do a ponytail?” Zara offered him during the snack break.

“I don’t know how to do a ponytail.” Thor said sadly.

“I could tie your hair up in a ponytail for you!”

“No no no! We should braid his hair!” Bee said.

Half an hour later, Thor was the proud owner of a slightly wonky French plait full of dandelions, daisies and bits of grass that had been pulled out of the pitch.

-

“Where’ve you been all day?” Tony yelled as Thor came wandering back into the house, kit bag under his arm and flowers still in his hair.

“Practice.” Thor said blankly.

“Practice for what? We couldn’t find you and we got worried!”

“Soccer practice.”

“Soccer?” Tony stared at Thor like he’d gone mad.

Thor nodded.

“OK, FAMILY METING! In the kitchen! Thor has some explaining to do!”

-

“You’ve been coaching an under 11 girls’ soccer team?” Steve said bluntly. The entire team was sat around the kitchen table, staring at Thor in shock.

Thor nodded. “They’re getting quite good now. We won the first match.”

“How do you know how to play soccer?” Bruce asked.

“I borrowed a book from the library.”

“How old do the kids have to be to join?” Clint asked.

“7.”

“Why are you asking him that?” Tony asked incredulously.

“I bet Lila would like to play soccer.” Clint said. “Nat, do you think she’d like it?”

“I love it.” Thor said simply. “I’m sure she would too.”

Tony put his head in his hands.

-

Their next match didn’t go quite as well.

There were twenty minutes left and they were 4-1 down.

Thor decided to take drastic measures.

“Why is it raining?” the opposing goalie shrieked.

Thor kept his gaze firmly on the grass and tried not to seem pleased with himself when the match was postponed.

-

“Hey Thor, can I talk to you?”

“Of course!” Thor boomed. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Could Lila join your soccer team?”

-

Lila scored her seventh goal in a row.

“Her aim’s quite good.” Thor said to Clint.

He beamed.

It was Lila’s first time playing soccer.

-

The Avengers invited themselves to the next match. Morgan watched from Tony’s shoulders, clapping nearly all the time.

“Uncle Thor I think your team needs a cheerleader.” Morgan told Thor at the post-match dinner.

“Excellent idea. I nominate you.”

Morgan beamed.

She arrived at the next practice with a pair of pompoms and asked Thor what cheer-leading she should do.

“I think my brother Loki might be able to give you a hand with that.” Thor said. He looked up at the sky. “Loki! I need you!”

“Mr Thor, are you alright?” Zara asked as she ran past.

“Yes I'm wonderful thank you, how are you?”

Loki strolled up three minutes later, sunglasses covering most of his face and blue rhinestones on his boots. He took the glasses off and gave Thor a look of confusion and disdain. “Brother? Why exactly have you called me here?”

“Brother!” Thor cheered and ran over to Loki. He hugged him enthusiastically while Loki lightly clapped him on the back, grimacing. “You know how to do cheer-leading, don’t you?”

Loki put his head in his hands and groaned.

Morgan came running up. “Uncle Thor, who’s this?”

Thor scooped Morgan up and held her on his hip. “This is Uncle Loki. Loki, this is Morgan.”

“Uncle Loki?” Loki looked at Thor with utter incredulity. “What the- have you had another child?”

“No! This is my niceling Morgan. You’re her uncle now. You’re going to teach her how to cheer-lead my football team.”

“Your football team?”

“Soccer.” Thor amended. “Now are you going to teach her or not?”

Note even Loki could resist Morgan when she looked at him hopefully.

-

Morgan began her cheer-leading at the next match. Everything went spectacularly until Thor had to kick the ball back onto the pitch and accidentally kicked it so high it didn’t come back down again.

Thor winced.

Loki groaned and put his head in his hands.

-

Thor discovered that it was tradition for there to be a team BBQ at the end of the season, with all the players and their families.

“Do I get to invite my family?” Thor asked shyly.

“Of course!”

The BBQ was held at the Stark residence. The team came fourth in the league. Thor got a mug proclaiming him ‘Best Coach’; he cried, which the team found hysterically funny.

“I think we need a new team name.” Amitola said. “Oak Tree Town Team is rubbish. Can we be the Valkyries?”

Thor beamed from ear to ear. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm silvermyfanwy on Tumblr! Come say hi!


End file.
